Dear Husbands and Boyfriends Of Petite Females,
My name is Jason Helmes.
I am the owner and operator of Anyman Fitness, LLC. We are an online firm that specializes in fitness routines for the general public.
Nearly all of our clients are normal people. We get the occasional triathlete, stage competitor, or powerlifter, but for the most part, people who come to us are regular folks.
We serve both men and women. A bit over half of our many clients (well over one thousand to date) are women.
Of those women, around half of them would fall into the category of “petite”.
To us, “petite” means 5’4″ or under, roughly.
Of these petite women, almost all come to us for a fat loss consultation.
After years of examining data, helping them through their troubles, coaching them through their mindsets, and assisting them in their journeys, we noticed some patterns.
You see, petite females have it rough in the world of dieting.
They have lowered total daily energy expenditures (TDEE – fancy talk for “calorie maintenances”). This means, when they diet, they can’t “shave off” as many calories as you can. They just don’t have enough calories to spare.
Since their “buffer” is much smaller, it makes dieting extremely difficult.
Petite females find it more difficult to lose fat than any other demographic – and it’s not even close.
I would like to say that every petite female who has come our way has gotten lean. Sadly, I cannot.
I can only do my best, and my clients can only do their best. But the fact remains, the deck is stacked against petite females for a multitude of reasons.
Our success rate is excellent, but it is not perfect. This keeps me up at night, wondering what I can do to help more.
I recently wrote an article on my site with go-to recommendations for petite females that was well received.
Actually, it set a one-day traffic record for us.
Apparently, there are thousands of petite females out there that have shared these same frustrations.
I expected the article would do well, but I did not expect what showed up in my email inbox.
I was flooded with messages from women who have struggled with their weight.
Some simply said, “Thank you.”
Some said, “Finally, someone GETS IT.”
Some asked for additional advice.
Others signed up as online clients.
But some of the messages…………were a bit different.
And these “different messages” are the reason I’m writing this letter to you, men.
Many, many messages were from women who confided in me that their significant others – husbands, boyfriends, and even fathers or brothers – were, shall we say……….less than understanding of their situation.
Numerous women read our article – out loud – to the men in their lives.
A few actually printed the article out and gave it to their husbands and boyfriends to refer back to.
I heard stories of men telling their wives that “dieting is easy” and they just needed to “eat less”.
I heard stories of men telling their girlfriends to “stop eating crap food” and being judgmental of their choices.
I heard stories of men who eat junk and drink booze in front of their women while taunting them for trying to make healthier decisions.
Now, I’m not a “soapbox” guy.
My approach is a bit different.
I’m not going to call you “assholes”, although perhaps, maybe I should.
Calling names doesn’t accomplish anything. You don’t reach most people by being negative.
Instead, I will give you some simple, actionable advice you can implement today, to try to rectify this situation and improve your relationship with the women you love in your life.
Two, Simple Tips For Helping Your Petite Wife or Girlfriend
Tip #1: Shut the fuck up.
This tip is very simple.
When your petite wife is trying to diet, it will be damn difficult for her.
She will need to eat very little.
She will likely mess up at times.
There will be days which are good, and days which are bad.
If you find yourself itching to comment about her eating habits, training habits, or progress, don’t.
Instead, you should shut the fuck up.
Shutting the fuck up has worked for many, many men in these instances.
Here is an example:
Your woman is dieting. She eats her low-calorie meal. When she is finished enjoying her food, she grabs a scoop of ice cream to top it off.
The ice cream isn’t on her diet plan.
Here are your options, in multiple choice format:
A. Remind her gently that the ice cream isn’t on her plan.
B. Tell her of all the evils of sugar, and how it’s associated with obesity.
C. Mock her self-control, and tell her to “suck it up” and put away the ice cream.
D. Shut the fuck up.
If you chose “D. Shut the fuck up.”, you are correct.
Do you see how easy that was?
Your woman understands that she shouldn’t be eating the ice cream.
She knows that her plan doesn’t include Ben and Jerry’s.
She is likely feeling nervous and anxious that you will be a condescending asshole as she grabs the pint.
Why confirm her suspicions and call her out?
Women love a quiet, strong, masculine man.
Women don’t like a blabber mouth know-it-all who scrutinizes their choices.
Shutting the fuck up is a great first step in making your woman happier at home.
Tip #2: Be supportive no matter what.
Your woman will likely need your support during her struggles.
Although your first tip is to shut the fuck up, that won’t always work.
There is an easy way to correctly give your input when you are asked for it.
First, do not EVER tell her what she is doing is “wrong”.
Even though, she may be wrong in some aspects, attacking her will not help. It will only make her resentful and defensive.
Next, never EVER discuss her progress, unless it is positive.
It doesn’t matter if she’s been “dieting” for two years, or two days. Her journey is her journey, and if she ever wants to get to the finish line, hearing remarks about how she doesn’t “look any different” won’t help.
Men, dieting for fat loss is easier for you, period.
Training for muscle gain is easier for you as well.
Pretty much anything in the health and wellness game is simpler when you are a male.
You don’t have menstrual cycles, whacked out hormones, menopause, low calorie maintenances, and nearly as many outside influences telling you to be a waif.
It’s totally acceptable (by society’s standards) to have a “Dad Bod“, but the same cannot be said for women. Women feel immense pressure to remain thin well into adulthood.
When you are asked your opinion, be loving, be caring, be supportive, and show your wife just how sexy you think she is.
Here are your options, in multiple choice format:
“Honey, I’ve been doing squats for the last month, do you see any improvement?”
A. “A little bit, but not really.”
B. “Maybe you should try some Romanian Deadlifts – I heard those worked the glutes better.”
C. “How many days per week are you squatting? You really should be squatting every session.”
D. “Let me see……<touches glutes>……mmmmm, yeah, that’s nice. Mind if I get a closer look?”
If you chose “D”, you are correct. Nice job, men.
It doesn’t matter ONE BIT if you see zero difference in her ass.
Hell, it doesn’t matter if she’s GAINED five pounds.
Your woman needs confidence and she needs to feel desired.
Be sure that this happens.
***Bonus, if you play your cards right, you might find yourself having some sex.
Where Do We Go From Here?
I hope you don’t take this advice and toss it down the drain.
This is not coming from someone without personal experience.
I spent a long time thinking I was “helping” the petite women in my life by giving unsolicited advice.
Many of the ladies close to me adhere to silly dogmas.
Some are Food Babe Fans, or Joseph Mercola followers.
Can you imagine how hard it was for me to learn to bite my tongue?
I would get red in the face when someone would spout off some bullshit about inflammatory carbohydrates while dousing their coffee with butter.
I would become furious when a woman I loved would claim they didn’t want to get bulky by lifting too many weights.
For a long time, I fought too many battles.
It gave me nothing but headaches.
If you follow this simple, two-step approach to helping your petite female through her fat loss, you will come out the other side a happier man.
A happy wife does indeed equal a happy life.
Shut the fuck up and be supportive no matter what.
Begin today for optimal results.