One, Weird Trick

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There’s One, Weird Trick. Right?

There’s gotta be One, Weird Trick. There’s always One, Weird Trick. That’s all you need. One. One Trick. One Trick that’s also Weird.

And if you follow that One, Weird Trick, you actually WILL have a transformation like you see in the advertisement pictures. Seriously – you WILL. It’s a fact. I should know………….I did it. I followed the One, Weird Trick. I bought in – hook, line, and sinker. I clicked the picture of the cartoonishly jacked dude on the sidebar of the webpage – and I followed along. And I found out what the One, Weird Trick was. I took that advice to heart and followed that bad boy – to a “t”.

And guess what? It worked. Perfectly. It made everything better – and it gave me everything I could have ever asked for.

5 years ago, I was sick and tired of being fat and out of shape. I had a huge jelly-roll belly and a one-year old daughter. I figured in 10 years’ time, I could be one of two things:  a fat, lumbering, barely breathing Dad, or a lean, fit Father my daughters could be proud of.

So, I looked around for that One, Weird Trick. And I FOUND IT………….

The One, Weird Trick was that I was eating too many carbs. Because insulin is a “storage hormone” and when I ate carbohydrates, it turned everything else in my system into fat. Magically. So, in order to stop this madness from happening, I gave up carbs completely.

And it worked – the One, Weird Trick worked!

Weight flew off of me. I went from 280 to 235 in about 4 months. I felt great.

But over time, I began to feel like shit. My mood changed, I felt sluggish, my immune system took a hit, and I lost my “mojo” so to speak.

Damn – I was wrong – eliminating carbs wasn’t the One, Weird Trick……….

During this time, I had stumbled across Martin Berkhan’s Leangains site. I wasn’t interested in counting macros completely, but Martin was jacked – and his Fuckarounditis article spoke to me. So, this was it – the One, Weird Trick – I needed to squat and deadlift. It was my TRAINING that was holding me back. If I changed my training, it would change everything. So I started lifting RPT-style, in minimalist fashion.

And it worked – the One, Weird Trick worked!

My body composition began to change, rather dramatically. After dropping bicep curls and tricep extensions in favor of deep back squats and deadlifts, I began to gain size, definition, and a take-no-prisoners attitude. I felt great, yet again. Strong. Vibrant.

But over time, I began to lose my gains. I began to regress in my lifts. My strength hit a wall. I felt crappy again – and I was pretty sure it was diet related this time, not training related.

Damn – I was wrong – RPT training wasn’t the One, Weird Trick……….

So, if Martin’s RPT training didn’t do the trick, I thought to myself, perhaps it’s the diet. But counting macros seemed cumbersome. So, I took it slowly. I started just being sure I ate adequate protein. I tracked my protein macro – and nothing else. That would do it. That was my One, Weird Trick.

And it worked – the One, Weird Trick worked!

My strength SHOT UP again. I felt like Superman! I put plate after plate onto the bar, and my lifting numbers went through the roof. What an invigorating feeling…………I surged with confidence………….the WORLD was at my fingertips. I had done it. I had found “it” – I had finally discovered and implemented the One, Weird Trick.

But over time, that began to change yet again. The fat I had shed when going carb-free had began to accumulate. My slightly visible abs were getting covered up by another layer of goo.

“Hmm, I must be overeating,” I thought to myself, “How should I fix this?”

And then I finally decided to dive into the deep end – I began counting macros. That would do it. I would get strict with it. I would count every gram of protein, fat, and carbohydrate. This is it – this is my One, Weird Trick. This will work – this will take me ALL THE WAY to the finish line.

It took me about 4 months to finally reel in that 6-pack. And it was there – in all its glory – for an entire summer. But I didn’t feel like this was truly the “One, Weird Trick” – because I wanted to be lean AND muscular. And after the cut, I was just “lean”. I was skinny – really skinny – and I needed some additional LBM in order to fill out my frame.

So, I decided to bulk. And add some mass to my 6’8″ frame. So, I began to eat slightly over my maintenance. And over time, the size came……..I did it! I found my One, Weird Trick…………..I let out a sigh of relief…………..

And then?

I gained too much fat, and I had to cut again. So, the bulk wasn’t the One, Weird Trick.

And then?

I needed a new training plan, as years on linear progressions had stalled out my progress. So, I guess training using linear progressions wasn’t the One, Weird Trick.

And then?

I needed some accountability, so I hired my own Coach to help. So, my independence wasn’t the One, Weird Trick.

What in hell is the actual “One, Weird Trick”, you ask? Because in the midst of all of this, there IS actuallyOne, Weird Trick” which has made all the difference.

One, specific protocol, ideology, or philosophy won’t do much long-term. You will never take one thought, one idea, or one strategy, and ride it to eternal fitness and health greatness.

You need to be able to adapt, to change, and to move on.

You need to be able to drop your old ideas of what USED TO BE beneficial to you, and always strive for improvement.

You need to be unabashedly selfish, and work on yourself first and foremost.

You need to do things which you don’t want to do – especially if you know they are good for you.

You need to view your wellness as the sum of all its parts – and not the function of one, single behavior.

The “One, Weird Trick”? Ready for it?

You need to make fitness a lifestyle. Make it “what you do”.

For 5 years, I’ve fucked up. I’ve been wrong every step of the way. Every time I thought, “This is the ticket,” I’ve been sorely mistaken.

But for 5 years, I’ve lived the “fitness lifestyle”………….and been rather consistent with it during that time. Even when my training and diet were obviously sub-par, I was consistent. Which made the “sub par” seem rather “optimal” over time.

You might be off a bit with your plan, but even the wrong plan followed closely is infinitely better than the best plan followed haphazardly.

If you make living the fit life your “One, Weird Trick”, 5 years from now, you’ll look back and realize any other “trick” is just a small piece in the puzzle of maximizing your life.


Yours in true health,


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