This is a call.
A call to all men.
I’ve heard some pretty messed up things lately. Coming straight out of the mouths of men. I think they are men. I guess I’m not quite sure. The things I’ve been hearing are shocking, appalling, and repulsive:
“No, I don’t want any ice cream. God knows I don’t need it.”
“Turkey burgers are delicious.”
“I love cooking healthy, with lots of chicken and veggies.”
“Bacon and eggs are so fatty. I feel much better after a banana and some yogurt.”
It may be time for some sort of an intervention.
Men everywhere seem to be missing the point. And it’s causing some serious issues. What makes a meal manly? Meat. Fatty meat, primarily. It’s extremely hard for me to imagine two cavemen trying to catch a pterodactyl instead of a wooly mammoth because the pterodactyl was “leaner” and “less greasy”. And I’m not talking only about the “good, healthy” fat, either. Salmon is just fine. But does a spinach-laced, red vinigariette-soaked, salmon-topped salad make you think of Burt Reynolds dressed as a lumberjack? Nope. It makes you think of all those Bravo shows my old lady watches.
Not turkey. Or chicken. Or whitefish. I’m talkin’ ’bout cow. And pigs. I can probably stop right there. The variations of deliciousness which are contained within those two meat options are endless. Strip steaks, t-bones, pork ribs, bacon, cheeseburgers, ham, sausages, meatloafs, porterhouses, pulled pork………….do I really need to go on?
God himself wanted us to eat red meat so badly, he gave us testosterone. The wonderful hormone which is present in men 20 times greater than the amount found in women. The hormone which makes it easier to burn fat, gain muscle, have energy, perform in the bedroom…..and pretty much maximize everything in our lives. And guess what?
God decided the more red meat we would eat, the more testosterone we would have.
Yes, that’s right. Saturated fat, which is found so abundantly in red meats that most women avoid like the plague, actually causes an increase in testosterone. So, let’s take out the middle man and make a bold statement:
Eating red meat in large amounts makes us more manly.
Now, let’s get one thing straight right now. This article isn’t actually about food. It’s about being a man. It’s about the essence which makes us men. And it’s fundamentally lacking in our society. Manliness is not defined by our food choices. Manliness is defined by our attitudes. Our decisiveness. Our ability to see what we want and get it. Whether it’s in the boardroom, the classroom, or the bedroom. If you want something, get it. Don’t take no for an answer. Have laser-like precision and confidence in your ability to seize what’s yours.
Stop going through the motions. Wake up. Or should I say, “Man up.”
If a double bacon cheeseburger isn’t part of your daily food plan, then so be it. But make sure your reasoning is on point. Don’t skip it because it will go “straight to your thighs”. Skip it because it’s not on your plan. Don’t skip the bacon and eggs because it’s “too fatty”. Skip it because you’d rather eat a sandwich instead. Don’t pass on the ice cream because “bathing suit season is coming up”. Pass on it because you’d rather have extra french fries.
Basically, if you want something, go get it. Or go eat it. But don’t let it happen by accident. Make it happen because you want it to happen.
Hopefully you don’t think I’m telling you to eat junk all day long and sit around like a lazy sloth. On the contrary. I’m simply saying that as men, we should do what we want. And “what we want” should include having the means and ability to live a healthy, productive, and active life. But we shouldn’t have to compromise. We shouldn’t have to avoid anything. We simply need to put it into our plans. That’s what men do. When men want something, they go get it and accept no excuses as to why it doesn’t happen.
We all want something. But most of us go about it the wrong way.
We want more money. We vow to “work harder”.
We want a wife. We vow to “talk to more girls”.
We want a better job. We vow to “look around”.
We want a smaller belly. We vow to “eat less”.
We want bigger muscles. We vow to “lift harder”.
And when it doesn’t happen, we make rationalizations.
“My job pays the bills. It’s good enough for me.”
“I love being single. I can watch whatever I want on TV.”
“I’m fine with what I do. At least I have a job.”
“I don’t care about my belly. Everyone my age has a few pounds to lose.”
“My muscles are fine. I don’t want to get too bulky.”
Stop making excuses. Stop rationalizing. We need to change our mindset. Everything we do needs to be because we want it to happen. Because it’s part of our plan. And we need to treat it as such. Skip the donut because you don’t want a donut. And eat the donut because you want the donut. If you want the donut, want it for the right reasons. And “because it tastes good” isn’t the right reason. Eat it because you have decided, as part of your health and fitness plan, you are going to eat a donut.
Here at Anyman Fitness, we have decided we eat what we want. We simply have a plan in mind which will allow us to include everything we want. Maybe not this second. But in eventuality and totality, anything and everything will be included. We will eat ice cream. And bacon cheeseburgers. And pizza. And cheesecake. And, of course, lots of pigs and cows.
They’re all part of the plan.
Doesn’t our plan sound better than your plan?
And don’t ever tell me a turkey burger tastes better than a bacon cheeseburger.
Before I take your man card away permanently.